.Please Shut Up.

Dear readers,

the following excerpt may not follow the status quo and my usual cliched writing style. It contains Les harde facts, things that I feel strongly about and yet am unable to convey it in a light-hearted manner. Indeed, THIS IS A WARNING: The following post may be crude and incoherent at times. It contains my views about issues that you may not be used to. Also, its 1599 words long.

Hence, I sincerely advise you to navigate away from this post and read the watered down post about Diamond instead.

Yours faithfully,
Gasper.

Diamond Programme, what was supposed to be an initiative to help failures, yes FAILURES, turned out to be a disastrous failure in itself. At first, I did not intend to attend the programme at all, but alas, after some persuasion from my friends, I decided to try it out-it couldn't be that bad right? But it was.

1.30 pm: two teachers stood at the front of the class. Trying to get the class to quieten down. BUT HOW DID THEY DO IT???? "You can leave if you think this is useless", "GET OUT if you don't want to attend", "You can go outside NOW!". What a positive, I mean negative start to the day. If the programme was supposed to motivate us to study, I seriously doubt the integrity of the promise. Asking us to get out right at the start? Indeed, how bout a round of applause for this method?

1.40 pm, a teacher started teaching. He did not have the vocals to project his voice throughout the AVA room, resulting in difficulty in hearing. The noise that erupted all over the place did not help his projection either. Indeed, he started to TRY teaching speed-time and distance-time graphs, together with the interpretation. This was regularly inter-spaced with propaganda on how he had sacrificed so much to teach us. This included him being a vegetarian, have not eaten lunch, and "please don't waste my energy" paraphrased at least in 3 ways. His lesson was also frequented by indications that we could leave if we did not find the programme useful. Indeed, I did not find it useful at all.

1.46pm, by this time, he was spluttering, trying hard to speak loudly and looked like he needed pills. A mike saved him, and destroyed him at the same time. Trouble was, despite the mike being able to magnify his voice, it also projected clear disembodied echos that set the whole 60 of us into hysteria. WHAT GREAT PLANNING!!-no mikes prepared etc!

1.50pm, surprised he was still alive, he had started to stress on his worksheets, on how we would have worksheets to do. UTTERLY IRRELEVANT. Also, as the mike problem was solved by then, he put on a more confident demeanor to the uncooperative class. BUT, as if to prove that he was worthy of teaching us, he tried to show-off. writing down complicated equations that "you do not need to know...Only use in JC". I mean, seriously, I know a show-off when I see one. He was trying to prove his value, his smartness but I mean, teaching complicated equations that you only need to know in JC is not a very smart way of approaching a class of supposed failures.

2. 05 pm, we were given the worksheets. We had to complete two questions. the first two parts of question 1 I managed to do by my own volition. Then came part C. I did not understand how to do it and yet he did not succeed in explaining it well enough for coherence sake. The question looked wrong, and yet even if he changed some of the lines of the graph it still looked like gibberish. But did he manage to rectify the mistake? nope. I still did not understand about Ys etc. To make things worse, he stopped using his mike at irregular intervals to talk and concentrate on half of the auditorium while my half got practically thrown into the lurch. how would that make you feel eh?

2.15 pm, I was starting to get tired of part C. I still could not understand, and I was getting more and more irritated by the second. he moved on to question 2.

2.30 pm, by this time, I had completely zoned out. I attempted the questions to get it all wrong. Marvellous, now I had to be reminded of MY STUPIDITY huh! Brilliant don't you think?

2.40 pm, I had had enough. Over the whole span of an hour, we had barely scraped the tip of the iceberg. we had barely gone through 2 questions, out of which I still did not understand those questions that i did not know how to do at the beginning of the lesson. I went there with a 10 percent knowledge of physics and left with a 10 percent knowledge of physics.

2.45 pm, I left. I could not stand it anymore, all the demeanor, helplessness, uselessness etc. the lesson had not ended but I left. Just left without any warning or notification. I heeded the advice of the teachers and left because I felt that it was useless. The unfulfilling lesson had become a facsimile of the 1700s useless lecture and I was not going to let it waste any more of my time.

The diamond programme was:

1) Ridiculous.
A physics lesson supposedly designed to help failures in physics becoming a lecture about a vegetarian man who had not eaten lunch? I mean, where is the link? Its like saying I wanna shit and then going to eat a stick of celery-and that has more link. The echo of the mike, the phrases that were used all accumulates to form a ridiculous notion of a programme that was supposed to be humanitarian. Oh wow, he seemed to have such lofty aspirations, so high and mighty, wanting to help the class. I respected him for that, yet everything that conspired convinced me that a mother Teressa was not standing in front of me.

2) Not beneficial
That is a nice way of saying that it was not hitting the mark, not targeting our weakness. Not understanding the nature of the students, restless people during the holidays, people wanting to play basketball, people who wanted to go swimming, people who were concerned about their marks and wanted to improve, people who desperately needed help! No, there was no analysis at all. No catering to needs, no cutting down of the size of the class. No, not at all. Instead, we had speed and distance time graphs, things that should take much less then one hour to finish explaining take much more than one hour to explain to an extent instead. Teaching of complicated equations to highlight how much we did not know, rubbing salt into the wound. making us feel inferior. I really expected much more from such a programme, and perhaps that was why I left the class.

I felt:

1) Disappointed
I went to the programme in the hopes that I would learn something constructive, something that would prepare me for the O'levels, but I did not get that! I am sorely disappointed in the programme, expecting much more that promised so much hope. A programme that shown like a beacon to help those who did not do well, a lighthouse to guide us safety. What I got instead was a black light, examining and turning me inside out, a shroud that darkened me further, diminishing my want to learn physics, creating a platform for me to abhor the very subject that I was contemplating to drop. the programme has not made a positive impact on my decision, did not sway me to take physics like I hoped it would. the programme was something important, it provided hope, but all of the hope was taken away to form something worse: disappointment.

2) Frustrated
Why couldn't there be a more accomplished person teaching us? Why couldn't the speed be suitable? Why was I unable to understand concepts that are supposedly easy to grasp? I do not know what to do! When I left the class, I wondered if it was legitimate, what was I doing? then I realised, I was running away from the bane, the one thing I hated, failure. I thought the programme would take away my failure, but it only exacerbated the problem, it made me so frustrated, not knowing what I should do. Should I smile and say all's fine or should I make a demonstration of how badly the programme was run? Grr..I want to do something but I can't. This sense of helplessness is overwhelming like nothing I have ever felt before, the feeling like everything is out of control. Yes, this paints a dystopian and uncertain future, but can it be dismissed, the fact that I walked out, the fact that the lesson was so disappointing?

Was it legitimate for me to walk out of that room without a backward glance?

I do not know and I shall cease to contemplate on that matter. Perhaps I should talk to Mr. Ng, then again, maybe I should not.

This is weary, this post can only convey so much of my feelings, my thoughts. The emotions are so varied, so wispy, fake, unable to coalesce into something substantial. I want to drift away, but I don't know why. I want to rave and rant, but I don't know why.

You have read the post, I do not know if you understand it, but either way, it makes no difference...

It makes no difference...

This is the watered down version of the Diamond programme, for the faint hearted. Do look to the "Diamond: Hard facts" post for more details if you want.

Today, 28 October, there were two major activities, the bridging programme ( I wanna play Bridge) and the Diamond programme.

There were people who were late for school and so hoho had to stand and scold scold, Don't let us go back to class-lol, waste of time. Then, when Mr. Tang walked into my chinese class, I was shocked! Wa piang, so fierce, later got extra remedial how??!! In the end he only came to announce the banding (I in band two class)--Anti-Climax. Anyway, my new chinese class looks fun, same 303 ppl, Wen, Kel, Cher and myself lar! Sat with Mark and then later move forward next to shao jie and noel...Doing wad we usually do during recess times (cannot say lar, later teacher read how??)!

Biology-Luckily was not who we thought it was, the one who say my Bio so lousy..T.T..Mrs. seetoh came in, she kept sweating, must be her pregnancy! Like that should not teach lar, straining her body and mind, she trying to teach her baby at the same time arh?

Anyway, Chemistry was okay lar, learnt about ammonia and made some obvious comments in class..

Then, I actually did not want to go to Diamond programme BUT when I met Mab and friends at the roti prata shop and they asked me to go, I decided to try it out and went in the end. I left at around 2.45 and came back to type out my burning post-not this, the hard facts one!

Lol..Yup, that's about it, would not recommend you read the post about the hard facts but well, its your choice.

Today was not a really fulfilling day.

This seems to be the end.

The end of a very fulfilling school year, where the ups and downs shaped me to become who I am today.

The end of a sec three life where my friends turned me from arrogant to unassuming.

The end of a whole year of strife and tears, of joy and harvests, of winnings and losings, of competitions and friendships.

This is the end of the business at school journey which I thouroughly enjoyed.

The end where I will miss and regret alot of things in this year, where I also learnt to cherish many things in this life.

The end where I have to thank everyone for helping to shape me.

The end where I have finished reading Brisingr, found new aspirations.

The end of my dog(prince)'s life.

But it is also the beginning.

The beginning of a new year of hard labour and sweat.

The beginning of major examinations and study.

The beginning of budding friendships, of solidified bonds, of love.

The beginning of understanding and parting, of loving and leaving.

The beginning of maturity, of growing up amongst friends, of an unwritten future.

The beginning of new decisions, of new sacrifices, of blood shed.

The beginning of vengeance and fantasies.

The beginning of an unknown sec 4 life in an air-conditioned classroom.

"This is the end of the beginning" quoted from W.
And I agree with it.

I agree with the controversial statement "all good things must come to an end", and I intend to make the good things in my life, my friends, family, emotions last for eternity, always counter-balancing the bad things that may occur.

This is my life, and I have seen many things. I have experienced alot, but there is still many things out there that I do not know. Everyone does things for a reason, they scold to teach, they smile to motivate. As for me, I want to make everyone happy. Even if it costs me rumours, I shall endure. Even if singing awfully on purpose is absolutely rumour-mongerish, I shall continue.

This is the end of the beginning, and I intend to make as many good thing move into the new beginning as possible.

I shall smile, and others will smile. I shall serve, and others will in turn serve others. I shall motivate, and the world will be a much happier place to live in.

I shall be a lunatic for the sake of everyone I cherish, sacrifice my life for those who have given me reason to live.

This is the end of the beginning, and I think it is true.

On the 25th October was the phrase 3 of the business at school finals.

Team Gvadigo included me, Wen, KH, Jeff, Char, Nas. Our business plan was to open a stress-relief centre called GU-Giving Utopia. It was a brilliant idea and our presentation kicked butts!!

In the end though, it was team Itech (Xinmin) and Procorps (SCGS) who proceeded to the Asian finals-although the plush name only consists of singaporean teams. Congratulations to iTech!

Without going through the gruelling details, I would firstly like to thank Mr.Wong who guided us throughout the competition providing alot of pointers. Also, thanks to our teacher mentor Mrs. Belinda Goh who did offer some help along the way. Mr. Hannostegman, our Boston Consulting Group coach whom we met up with twice, to our supportes at phrase 3 Ber and Mab, to all others supporting us mentally, to everyone who offered motivating words, to Mr. Ace (Owner of plush bar), and most importantly, To KH, Jeff, Char, Wen and Nas my very dedicated team members.

At least we got a silver medal (everyone else had it too but, oh well)!!

I will never forget team Gvadigo for everything we went through, the meetings we endured, for being the first few people I thought bridge too, for cheering me up, for being there for me, for putting in a tremendous amount of effort into the competition, for unfailingly being bonded together, for sacrificing free time and other activities and most of all, for being my bestest friends. Thank you.

Team Gvadigo, you rock.

from a very appreciative member of Gvadigo-the name originated from Godiva chocalates!

On the 24th October, 303 had our, umm, interesting class gathering.
Disclaimer: all names are not mentioned in full and the following may not have happened in chronological order.

Everything was planned last minute-which most of us are used to anyway-and the venue were all confirmed on the spot. Ha! This shows OUR efficiency, one day can plan finish EVERYTHING!!--even SLs can't do that (no offence..muahahahaha).

We went to K and Ks house at R__________ for a barbeque-they booked the pit at around twenty dollars-SO EX!! Anyway, we met at hougang point at 12-or rather, that was the official time but many ppl were late (including me). Then NTUC was our pit stop, we argued over nitty gritty stuff like-how many packets of charcoal should we buy?

It was drizzling when we left hougang point.

Then, we crossed the road-so dangerous nvr use traffic-crossing, at least get banged already can eat their share-muahahaha-. Anyway, I was quite a failure in lighting the fire and needed to wait for M---- to light the pit. T.T . AND, because it was drizzling, I had to sacrifice my umbrella-which embarrased me by detaching its gripping area (Out of everytime it could do that) to be used to shelter the BBQ pit, what a sight.

THE BUTTER!! We did not have any bowls and attempted to stuff the huge wad of butter into a cup-it was quite small! It got stuck, and looked like, well, yellow faeces. I mean, what is the world getting into when butter refuses to get into the cup. In the end, a spoon had to be used to scoop all the butter into a plate.

Then, a documentary about "how to marinate chicken" was filmed. The camera crew included
KW only, Char was the host of the cooking show, Ber was the commentator, I was well, the audience who added all the sound effects, HW, who helped to introduce the ingredients (covering the brands unlike all the other cooking shows) and some other calefare like M who shoved her way into camera view..haha. It was hilarious!

By then, the fire was relatively hot bah, did not really take note..Lol. Anyway, some of the REALLY GOOD FOOD WERE: chicken wings, prawns (I helped to skewer one stick), Hotdogs and corn. JH was quite insistent on being the chef of the day (accorded the title cooking hua hua) lol. Then, we bought cling wrap and Don't have aluminium foil-In the end have to go to hougang point to but again. Drinks also not enough so J and (someone else, I forgot) went to get it.

That was the food. Now for the FUN part...
I, as a very innocent bystander, was just happening to change into shorts and dip my legs into the pool for relaxation sake. Then, oh my, the horror, I felt a force behing me which toppled me over. Alas, me effort in resisting was foiled, I became victim to the dunking squad, which I joined after getting unceromoniously duncked into the swimming pool, luckily I didn't drown. My whole shirt was wet, so was my whole body and so..I decided to dunk others into the pool too-most of them were girls-including Leon..Then, I took off my shirt so that it won't cling so much and just enjoyed the water (sadly to say, everyone was blinded and did not notice my wonderful pacs). Anyway, I looked naked in the jacuzzi as my pants were skin colour, oh my! Later on, loads of other people came to have a dip in the water. By the way, the person who pushed me was W-she slipped into the water later on before I got to dunk her, such an unceremonious sight.

**And to those out there who criticizes our wonderful class tee, I thought you should know, those wearing class tee and got dunked into the water, became perfectly dry (including the tee) in 5 minutes-K, I was exaggerating but it was quite a short time nonetheless!

Anyway, later on, we played bridge-which I (thich-skin) introduced to the class and which soon became a very popular card game! Then we played BIG 2.5 and INDIAN POKER. There was a forfeit in indian poker where the person with the smallest card had to eat a vile concoction the was brewed before hand-not going to explain games here. Sadly to say, as I was the one who added the most key ingredients into the concoction, I lost the first 4 rounds straight (and would have continued losing if I didn't stop playing) through the cunninghams, I mean cunningness, of my classmates who were determined to make me lose. Can you imagine, I lost even though I had a 10!! But it was really fun although the twisties soaked in soya sauce, marshmallow, salt, oyster sauce etc was quite disgusting although it tasted fairly okay.

We played charades the, which was very hilarious, especially the one where an ape became F****** motions ?! Lol.

After that, K brought down her dog NIKI which was really cute, white with brown spot (jack russel). Close to eleven years old and yet very active. Made us run alot, tried to eat alot of junk on the floor. well-trained, poops and pees in bushes and afraid of heights. Any offers? Starting price, 1 00 000 000 US dollars.

Yup, after that was the clean-up. Of yeah, and we saw a witch (or was it Sha---) sitting next to the pool, staring at nothing, stroking a black cat in her laps-and it was quite late.

Some of us went for a late night movie which I didn't go so can't really describe.

Alot of other things happened but I can't put it all into words. The memories are precious, the experience priceless.

The joy, the smiles are etched in stone,
while the sorrows are washed away in the water.

The smells and tastes would forever linger,
while the tears and heartache would dissapear.

303, I love you.

If such a thing exists

Like a spark of flame,
like a blossom of colour,
The idea the same,
never changing..never changing...

The same pink shirt,
with the creamy white pants,
like a pile of turd,
never changing...never changing...

To wait for the jump,
of an eccentric idea,
the jolt of the lump,
of a half finished notion.

Stuck in the mire,
sucked deep under,
burning in fire,
ceasing to exist.

I cannot hold on,
to the half-finished thought,
the gist of the ton,
of the never-ending stream of crap.

Always smiling,
never frowning,
never leaving,
never changing...never changing...

Never moving away from the norm,
never straying away from the path,
never looking away from the picture,
never changing...never changing...

.Gasper.

Is it just puberty or am I a glutton?!

I ate one whole plate of roasted duck noodles (yummy!)-not suitable for girls as it is VERY VERY fatty, not that I mind as I really have to put on that extra sumo factor. It was at a coffeeshop near school by the way-not that THAT helps (but I'm bad in directions, you can't blame me!). Then, I ate a whole plate of sirlion steak which had a large portion, again not recommended for females who want to keep their physique. The thing is, I didn't even feel full after that! Its called high metabolism for anyone who's interested. That's how people get to eat alot without getting fat although the paunch will start to show in the later years, yeeuch!

Anyway, eat more NOW and enjoy life. Just make sure you exercise!

Oh my gosh..So busy...So busy...

Going for swimming practice for next week's swimming test!

LOL (no link)

Today, 18 October, was the MGS debate invitational(Methodist Girl's School's debate Invitational).
The debate team sent its very accomplished junior team to it and we lost the first round to ACS independant-they were like umm..me when singing high pitch (Cun insult lar, later get sued-but you get the idea). Anyway, we won the second round which was impromtu-which means the teams get a motion on the spot and an hour to come out with their whole case-against St. Joseph international (They all like ang moh gang). Anyway, even though we didn't break into the finals round, I would like to congratulate the team for all their effort and good job done. WELL DONE!!

BUUUUUT..Our one and only female speaker managed to clinch the FOURTH BEST SPEAKER IN THE WHOLE DEBATE COMPETITION, and also the best floor debate speaker as a sidedish-like, "might as well just get another certificate for the sake of it!"..Anyway, Congrats to that speaker!!!!! GREAT JOB!!---She is also going to tech me how to install a chat box..

Anyway, once again, cheers to another fulfilling debate competition in XMS!!

WELL DONE!

Today, 17 October, there was a meeting. There are supposed to be 6 people in the group but guess what? Only four turned up. we were supposed to go to a gir's house to discuss, but alas, there were 3 guys and only one girl. Imagine what YOUR mum would say if 3 guys and one girl came over to your house. ?gangrape? But we are decent!! I mean, we are living in an OPEN society, there's no need for that much veiling anymore right? right. So anyway, we decided on going to Hougang Mall Macdonald's to discuss in the end cause my sister (yes I've got a sister) was in HER exam period *not mensuration, too young*-too bad. When we reached there, predictably like how almost ALL meetings go (besides those nerdy ones), we spent half an hour actually discussing, one hour eating and talking, and 2 and a half hour playing cards (not pokemon cards By the way). It was relatively exciting, seeing as our school has already rolled down casino red carpets to herald the IR with gambling dens sprouting up all around-but I shan't say where in case someone in authority reads this (If you are reading this, you may want to check the toilets, it does wonders for the complexion). So, after two guys left, only me and a girl was left-like a date like that only that it was a smelly one.

We were playing draw-bridge when suddenly, a rotting stench diffused (Biology) into my nostrils. It was suffocating. I wanted to puke (Which remended me of a song by Eminem-puke). Yes, you guessed correctly if you have smelled it before. It was the hellish stench of rotting DOUBLE CHEESE BURGERS!! AHHHHHH!! We were sitting right next to the BIN. I would gladly swop my school jacket to get out of there (Although I would gladly swop the jacket for virtually anything including a roll of toilet paper-ANY TAKERS??). So morale of the story, don't sit next to the Bin at the time when all the Macdonald Breakfast is stewing in the Bin. Anyway, we gladly changed places after awhile. Heey, she was a girl after all, I had to make sure she did not faint right? Anyway, I seriously do think that the Bin contained laughing gas cause the both of us laughed uncontrollably everytime someone threw something into the bin. It did not help as we had to inhale more when we laughed. UGGH. Anyway, I think the waiter got a little fed-up as he though we were laughing at him-cause he was in charge of dumping. therefore, KUDOS to all garbage cleaner out there. For your sake, I hope you are tone, I mean smell, deaf?

Lol. Anyway, girls are really great at choosing presents. She helped me to choose two presents at Mini toons after we left the DOUBLE CHEESE BURGER STENCH!! So Thanks to that girl!!

So, calling all valiant souls out there, BOYCOTT DOUBLE CHEESE BURGERS!! SAVE THE WORLD-and me.

.UGGH.